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Hey Listers,
In case you didn’t know, Facebook is the cause of the two latest social networking crazes: a list of 25 random things about oneself, and tagging an emoticon poster (aka a picture of smiley faces with different emotions) with the appropriate Facebook friend. I will avoid mentioning the latter again, in order to not give it any more legs than its already grown.
The other craze has already grown legs, legs like the giant spider monster in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Everyone was doing it. Every major news source had stories about it. Imagine Beanie Baby Teletubbies that laugh when you tickle its stomach. Yeh, that big. But fortunately that monster’s been slain.
Until now! I’m bringing it back, baby! One last time. Like a Barbara Streisand comeback tour. Here are the 25 random things you didn’t know about ListAfterList.com:
Lists Hidden in This Newsletter Top 10 Best Legs Are Movies with 8 or More Oscars the Best Films Ever? Top 10 Most Valuable Beanie Babies Top 10 Movie Monsters from NYC Top 10 Biggest Comeback Tours Ever Teams with Most NBA Championships Best SCI-FI Actors and Actresses Top 50 Celebrities on Twitter Favorite Seinfeld Moments Tips to Burn More Fat Faster Best Toilet Paper February 26 Happy Birthdays! Day in History: February 26 Top 20 Cayuga Lake Wineries & Vineyards Famous Celebrity XBOX Gamertags Peter Griffin's Jobs Top Tearjerkers in Movie History Things that People Nay-Say Before They Even Try It Merriam-Webster Dictionary Top 10 Words of the Year (2007)
ListAfterList Updates and Reminders Have you tried the new search on LAL powered by Google? It is much more effective. Now you can think of LAL as a place of reference, instead of just a website where you can find randomly cool stuff and interesting trivial lists. Find a bucket list of a die-hard sports fan, or the list of 5 NFL teams that haven’t played in the Super Bowl. Even try using LAL when you are looking for birthday gifts for someone (i.e. Top 10 Gifts for a Star Wars Fan).
If there is anything you would like to see on ListAfterList, let us know. And, if you have any friends who might enjoy ListAfterList, let us know that too.
Your Fellow Lister, Ryan Pratt Editorwww.ListAfterList.com
With every New Year come new resolutions. Some people resolve to quit smoking, some to lose weight, some resolve to get out debt – some people just resolve to follow through with previous resolutions. Even with generic resolutions like these, a whopping 85 percent of people fail to succeed.
The problem lies in the longevity of the resolution. Quitting an addiction cold-turkey is nearly impossible. Losing weight is a difficult task to begin with. To accomplish it, then keep it off for 12 months, is even harder. And getting out of debt is a task our country’s leaders can’t even tackle. So what makes you think every January you will be able to jump head first into solutions for these problems?
What you should be doing is making bucket lists. A bucket list is a resolution for life. It’s not something you need to accomplish tomorrow. It’s not something you need to even start tomorrow. A bucket list is a list of lifelong goals, goals to complete before you “kick the bucket.” Don’t consider it a “wish list,” you need the mindset that this is a list of things you WILL accomplish before you die, not thing you just WANT to accomplish.
It’s just like a to-do list. You shouldn’t make your daily to-do list full of just the most difficult tasks. Instead of just writing “run 3 miles” or “finish project” or “clean the house” – add some simple tasks like “brush your teeth” and “eat breakfast” and “put on some clothes”. These tasks will allow you to cross things off, and give you a sense of accomplishment as you progress through your day. Instead of staring at those substantial tasks and procrastinating as long as possible, you will jump right in and start check-marking boxes.
Don’t make your bucket list full of things you’d hate to do but know you should. A don’t make a list of completely impossible tasks, aka resolutions. You can have some aspirational goals, like make a million dollars, kiss Keira Knightley, or drive a flying car – knowing they may be unreachable, they may still help you strive to reach other “un-listed” things.
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Season’s Greetings Listers,
Wrap all your gifts yet? Well don’t rush! How you wrap a gift says a lot about who you are. And how you open it says even more.
Think about the cheapies whose gifts are wrapped in last Sunday’s sports page. And the lazies thrown in a plastic bag with the grocery receipt still stuck inside. Think about the hectic gifters with too much paper and the last green-tagged piece of Scotch tape. Compare those wrappers to OCD-gifters, with perfectly creased parallel lines, symmetrical bows, curled ribbons, and snowman nametags written in loopy cursive.
Now think about those “kids” who tear through their gift then race to the next. Directly contrasting the patiently-waitings, who keep to themselves until each gift has been handed out, sincerely savoring each and every present, opening not only the bag or wrapping, but also the manufacturer packaging, reading the card verbatim, and actually using the gift before moving on. And then there are the OCD-unwrappers making sure not to tear the paper, saving it for re-gifting next year.
First impressions are everything. And a first impression is hard to change. But it’s not impossible! Anything can sway someone’s initial opinion, but not just your iPod playlist, your favorite movie, the clothes you wear, the house you keep, the team you cheer for, or the job you work; the quirky little things matter too.
Consider an order at Subway, or Chipotle, or even a pizza, and the volumes that speaks to others about who you are. Ham and provolone on white with mustard, lettuce tomato is simple and plain. Spicy Italian is care-free. Specialty sammies are for the adventurous. And how about the vegetarian Chipotle burrito with no beans or sour cream? Or the vast differences in people who get plain cheese pizzas versus supreme?
I’ve heard bartenders and waitresses say they can predict what certain people will order. Every stereotypical person orders a stereotypical drink. Cheap people drink Mt. Dew and Long Island Iced Teas. Classy and mature people order martinis (hence Bond’s shaken-not-stirred). A beer for the blue-collared and wine for the house-wife.
Every order says something. Every action delivers a reaction. Every moment can have a lasting impression.
This holiday season, pay attention as friends and family are opening their gifts, not just at the wrap-job, but the gifts inside and reactions whilst opening. And the lesson learned? Don’t jump to assumptions because that just make an… well you know. Wait to make “donkeys” until you take them out for pizza and a drink.
So last Friday I turned 25. Twenty-five! Twenty-five years I’ve been wandering around trying to figure “it” out. And twenty-five years spent, or maybe wasted is the better word, not figuring “it” out. Okay, maybe “wasted” is a bit pessimistic. It’s probably the quarter-life crisis talking.
But seriously, birthdays split the world in two. Those who love birthdays, tell everyone they know it’s coming, buy themselves presents and bake themselves cake - and those who dread it like a funeral. But it’s not so black and white; it’s more like a peanut butter and jelly sammy. Pull apart a PB&J and on the jelly half you’ll find some peanut butter, and on the PB half you’ll find some J.
Some people dread a birthday one year, but fervently await the next. I, on the other hand, have celebrated every birthday of my life – until this one. This one was different. Every kid celebrates his 13th (teens), 16th (driving), 18th (cigarettes and porn… and voting), and 21st (drinking). After twenty-one, the 22nd through 24th are typically blurry, and then all-of-a-sudden you’re 25! Twenty-five starts the beginning of the birthdays of dismay. Twenty-five = adulthood. And with adulthood comes those scary words like marriage, children, career, mortgage, and responsibility. Then by 30 you are supposed to have those figured out and you have a new list of words to worry about. It never ends!
I realize these rationalizations are a bit extreme, but I’m in the business of hyperboles. Still, I am jealous of the teenage birthday, the first-car birthday, the cigarettes, dirty-magazine and hung-over birthdays. Of course! Who isn’t? The question is how do you turn these 5s and 0s birthdays into something to celebrate? The trick is not worrying about what you haven’t figured out yet, birthdays should be celebrations of everything you have figured out. I was surprised to see what I came up with:
· It’s okay to be a complete nerd, and especially a dork in disguise!
· Fear controls you and your actions. By conquering fear, you gain control
· The Yankees and the government just throw money at problems to make them go away
· Do what you’re good at doing
· If you’re good at something, never do it for free
· And though money may not buy you happiness, it sure helps
· Britney Spears and Tom Cruise are crazy
· NASCAR splits the world in two (this time it is black-and-white, no grey middle between the haters and the lovers)
· Jealousy breeds negativity, and negativity breeds jealousy. Stay away from both.
· Eating two Chipotle burritos with chips & salsa in one sitting is nearly impossible
· There is a fine line between passion and obsession
· Most things don’t REALLY matter, so let it slide
· Sequels always disappoint
· And… Star Wars will always be totally awesome
“They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the f***ing smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby.”
Great quote. Great movie. It may not ring true for all you listers, but certainly strikes a chord with me. You see, I have this uncanny ability to spend money. Sounds terrible I know. It is. It’s as if the pocket of my jeans were actually on fire and Best Buy sold the only extinguisher in town.
For anyone like me, this smoldering “burden” makes Thanksgiving more like Black Friday Eve. Forget the corn and yams, I’ll devour as much tryptophanic turkey as I can, because the faster I unbuckle my belt, the faster I plop on that couch, the faster I fall asleep, and the faster the 5 a.m. early bird specials come around. I cannot wait! I’ll admit, one my pet peeves is standing in line (due to an ADHD-induced lack of patience). Not to mention my displeasure with the frigid Midwest November weather. But the sales make all the miseries worth the wintry wait.
I am pretty sure Black Friday grew from people’s tendencies to start their Christmas shopping for friends and loved ones the day after Thanksgiving. And believe me, until Black Friday is marked as an official holiday in America, I will be using my float days to pretend it is (btw, Barack, if you’re listening maybe you should consider my plea as a part of your fiscal rescue plan for your inaugural year in the Oval Office).
For me Black Friday as good as it gets. Forget Christmas and birthdays when you get presents you don’t want and never asked for: the multi-colored plaid shirts, re-gifted label-makers, and holiday gift baskets with 6 types of cheese and chocolate that come February turn to so moldy your chocolate lab won’t even steal off your kitchen counter. My Black Friday shopping carts are selfishly stuffed with toys for me. It’s awful really. I am not a selfish person – just a victim of marketing.
Take my downfalls as a lesson of the misguided and ill-mannered. The holiday season is not about toys. It’s not about gifts and getting. It’s about giving. And it doesn’t even have to be the gift of material things – give love and happiness and help. Lend a hand to those in need and enjoy your time with family and friends. But also remember:
“Anybody who tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't f***ing have any.”
I can’t believe it’s been a year since my rant about how Halloween is supposed to be a night of fright, not this funny fools’ day it’s turned into. And I’m still peeved. Why are television stations airing National Lampoon’s Vacation over-and-over again when there are 100s of great scary movies they could show instead?
Instead of watching Michael Myers chop up all the trick-or-treaters in Haddonfield, we get Clark Griswold and family on their “merry” way to Wally World. Yeah there are some deaths (dragging Dinky to death behind the car and Aunt Edna passing in her sleep in the backseat), but they’re funny deaths. And sure Harold Ramis, one of the original Ghostbusters directed it (which by the way is painfully more funny than it is scary), but c’mon! I am looking for horror movies deaths. “Final Destination” meets Jason Voorhees meets “The Hills Have Eyes.” I want to be scared on Halloween! Give me “Halloween” and “Friday the 13th,” or at least “Nightmare on Elm Street.” Where’s Freddy and Jason and Jigsaw and Chucky? Is AMC the only channel that gets it? Or have all the funny, cute little Halloween costumes distorted all our “fragile little minds.”
I have a favor to ask of you. Instead of giving treats to every trick-or-treater this year, reward the scary skeletons and ugly witches. Give the gobstoppers to goblins, ghosts and ghouls. And trick those funny, cute kids with an apple or toothbrush.
And any of you trick-or-treaters out there, let’s get back to the roots of Beggar’s Night. Remember the history behind the tradition, if someone forgets the treats, or leaves a “please take one” basket out, make sure you play an idle trick on the house or the homeowners. That is what the saying is all about. “Trick-or-Treat!”
Worried? I am sure you are. There is a lot to be worried about these days. And everybody is worried about something sometimes (not to be confused with Dino’s “Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime”… though just as true). But even the smooth talking, care-free Rat Pack had their worries. Like when Frank Sinatra Jr. was kidnapped. Imagine how nerve-racking that would be! Us normal folks have more common things to worry about.
First and foremost on everyone’s mind is this fiscal pit we’ve fallen into. The DOW continues to drop. Huge firms are flopping. Banks are bankrupt. And you are worried about your money, your future, your children’s future, and your children’s children’s future. Who wouldn’t be?
Then there is the Presidential election. Who are you going to vote for? Will he fix our problems? Can he put an end to our worrying? And then even if he says he can, will he?
And don’t forget about the simpler uncertainties in life. What to wear tomorrow? What to eat for dinner? How will this presentation go? And how far below that red line can the fuel gage go before you have to fill up on $4-gas?
So many questions, so few answers.
"Today is the tomorrow I was so worried about yesterday." It’s so true, yet, makes absolutely no sense if you think about it.
What’s all this worrying for? What’s it mean? That you have to hold off on that 60-inch plasma to hang on the wall, or that roomy new black-leather Gucci handbag. That you can’t lay a gas-hogging footslam on the accelerator when the light turns green. And that you can’t go to SinCity for a Sammy-Davis-style New Year’s bash.
Now I’m not going to pretend I’m Nietzsche or anything, but does any of this truly matter? You need to have “the ability to let that which truly doesn’t matter slide” because “everything will work out – it always does.”
The truth of the matter is this: there is always plenty to worry about, always; and worrying never makes anything better – it doesn’t solve problems and doesn’t make issues go away. So instead of wasting away worrying about things – especially things that truly do not matter – why not take a break from your worries, smile and take a deep breath. Because just as it reads on Sinatra’s tombstone: “The Best Is Yet To Come.”
Hey Listers, It’s been a while. Hope you are still listing! Sure looks like you are. LAL has over 14,500 lists now! A lot has happened since I wrote you last:
The new Indiana Jones premiered and bombed. Well critically bombed at least; box-office numbers did okay despite the horrid reviews and me walking out of the theater half-way through; did you know you can’t get refunds for movies utterly sucking ?
Seems like Harrison Ford has been around longer than sliced bread doesn’t it? Ford’s first role as a bellhop in “Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round ,” was the same year the Beatles’ John Lennon made the comment in an interview published in The London Evening Standard, "We're more popular than Jesus now.” Speaking of more popular than Jesus, did you know Ford had roles in many of biggest box-office hits of all time , though his role in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (as Elliot's school principal) was deleted from the final cut of the film. It’s shocking that he is only #75 on the list of Top 100 Actors and Actresses with the Most Movie and TV Appearances .
Other debuts include new iPhone 3G. It still sucks!
Big Brown made his bid at the Triple Crown of horse racing only to come up short in the final leg . No pun intended. But speaking of slipping up:
Sarah Palin tripped and fell bum -backwards into the Republican VP seat, political spotlight and harsh media criticisms (Caution: Alaskan ice slippery when wet).
As the Presidential election gets closer, more and more celebrities are choosing sides of the aisle. Hollywood is known to be left-leaning , but there are some celebs openly backing McCain as well on the other side of the aisle.
And how about Michael Phelps?! Not his political views; and actually NOT the 8 gold medals either, because that’s nothing compared to his daily food intake. 12,000 calories! Do you know what that is equal to? Have you ever tried to eat two Chipotle burritos? I have and I cannot even imagine ten! I have a better chance at London gold in the 200-free.
…Anyway, I hope you keep listing , adding to those wiki lists , and continually checking back with ListAfterList as it becomes the biggest thing since powdered milk . Or is it “biggest since sliced bread” and “longer than powdered milk”? Powdered milk was first spotted by Marco Polo in Mongolia in 1275; that’s not that long is it? Or very big? Wait, what does powdered milk have to do with anything?
Nevermind that, here is one final, actually important question: What are the options you have if your boss’s toupee falls on the floor?
Still Resoluting?
Happy New Year Listers!
How’s your resolution coming along? You realize it is only day 10 right? Don’t worry, I am not doing so well either. I told myself I wouldn’t be so obsessed with making lists for every little task in my life.
You should’ve seen it – there were daily to-do lists, weekly to-do lists, movies to see, music to download, grocery lists, reading lists, lists on my Treo, lists on my fridge, and lists covering my desk. Well, there are still lots of lists but I am not as obsessed with it. Then again, what could I really expect, I do have a pretty influential list-making job.
What was your New Year’s Resolution? Were you creative? Or did you choose something generic: to lose 20 pounds, to run 5 miles every week, to read more books, or to quit smoking? Those generic ones are often harder to stick to. Try being creative, instead of a generic diet resolution, try something like only drink soda when you are out to eat, or instead of picking a random resolution out of your favorite fitness magazine, try to find a sport you like (or even a Nintendo Wii game like Wii Sports) and joining a league or playing with friends a few times every week. Don’t just say you’ll read more books; make a list of books you want to read. Just because John and Heather say you should spend less, save more, and watch your debt disappear, doesn’t mean that should be your New Year’s choice. Try to make something fit your lifestyle; for instance, don’t buy a new DVD every Tuesday, or instead of going to Outback for dinner, try grilling out back your home instead.
No one else can make your resolution for you. But you can get some very creative ideas from others’ resolutions. And remember, resolutions don’t have to start on January 1st, you can always make willful changes any day of the week, any week during the year.
Season’s Greetings Listers!
And Happy Holidays. Unless of course, you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping yet? Or if you are in any way related to Britney Spears? Did you hear her 16-year-old little sister is pregnant now? And her mom’s “parenting” book has been delayed indefinitely. Maybe now grandma will have time to add a new chapter on teen pregnancy and their bald, party-animal aunts? Then again, maybe you have another reason to not be merry? Or maybe you’re just one of those real-life Scrooges? Well don’t be a Grinch! So you don’t like the mall’s hour-long checkout lines. And your rear-wheel-drive, two-door car sucks on the unsalted, unplowed roads. And maybe your honey-do list gets a little longer this time of year. Whatever your reason to be bah-humbugger, there are plenty of reasons to be a Cindy Lou Who instead; besides the usual family, friends and health. Hate the commercialized Christmas? Make it a religious holiday. Remember that December 25th is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Jesus. Hate the holy, spiritual side? Celebrate the social side. The holidays are a time of gathering. Besides seeing old friends and long-lost family members, it’s a chance to meet new people. Come out of your shell and shake hands with strangers at your office party, or look for some cutie standing alone under the mistletoe at the bar. Hate the social obligations? Curl up on the couch with a warm blanket and cup of eggnog next to a crackling fire and sparkling Christmas tree. Or go play fetch with your dog in the snow. Or take a stroll through the local holiday decorations. ‘Tis the season! Or just get out of town you Grinch. If you just don’t want to celebrate Christmas, take the expected time off of work or school to go on a vacation. In any case, if you’re a holiday Scrooge today, try and remember how special it was as a child. And if you’re childhood holiday memoirs were glum, you can always make new memories Mañana.
Greetings Listers!
So today is my birthday. I’m 24. Do I feel any older? You know what, I actually do! Twenty-four years of celebration, 24 years of experience and immaturity, 24 years of wisdom and stupidity. Anyway, it got me thinking about the circular evolution of the birthday. You parents will often say, your birthday was the happiest day of their lives. Throughout your childhood, birthdays were the biggest celebrations possible, with clowns and cake and confetti. Back then, your age was always the first thing on your mind and the first question you were asked. Remember when your age directly correlated to how “big” you were? As you get older, some other factors unfortunately begin to determine how “big” you are - but that’s a whole other issue - back to the birthday timeline. The teenage birthdays become less a celebration of you, and more a celebration of milestones and newfound freedoms. At 13 you’re officially a teen, 16 can drive, 18 an adult, and at 21 drink. After that, the celebrations become a little less exciting and come around a little more quickly every year (I’d like to tell you they don’t really come faster, but according to some mathematical law of fractional differences, they actually do). By then, the clowns and confetti are gone, and your cake isn’t big enough to hold all your candles. Have you ever forgotten how old you are? Its crazy to think you used to be able to show those tall people how old you were with the fingers on your hand. But just because you can’t count how old you are on your fingers and toes anymore, doesn’t mean it’s not exciting. Sure, no one will be screaming on your 25th like they did at the bar at midnight of your 21st (because they probably won’t be as drunk), but all those birthdays coming up that end in zeros are celebrations of different milestones in your life. And think, at the big 5-0, you will only be halfway through your entire life. Half way! Imagine all the things you did in the last half of your life? Seems like a lot, huh? There will be more career accomplishments, new relationships, and every day excitements. Heck, the Yankees might even win another pennant in your lifetime. And you always have the Denny’s senior citizen discount to look forward to. There is always more. And if and when you have a child of your own, the evolution will start all over again with their birthday, the happiest day of your life.
It’s almost here! A day of feasting followed by fatigue. A day of indulgence then reduction. No, not Thanksgiving you glutton - Black Friday! On Black Friday, Americans everywhere indulge themselves in spending and feast on super-reduced sales at stores that open so early in the morning they shouldn’t be early-bird specials, but night-owl specials. Now why would you think I was talking about Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving is supposed to be a day of gratitude and grace (no matter if you believe it a secular or religious holiday). But by no surprise, America has turned it into a day of full of turkey and football. Now I’m not trying to bash Thanksgiving, because, just being Americans we have so much to be thankful for (i.e. every soldier fighting the war on terror). But the real excitement follows. Thanksgiving is just the start. Thanksgiving is Black Friday Eve. And thank goodness for “Turkey Day” because if it wasn’t for all that tryptophan consumption and Thanksgiving Day napping, you’d never be able to wake up at 4 a.m. to stand in frigid lines outside Sears. Is nothing more American than these two days? So tomorrow morning, give your thanks and get ready for the big day. Stuff the turkey, whip the mashed potatoes, turn on the parade (or football pre-game show), pull the pumpkin pie out of the freezer, and check your local ads. Our economy will certainly be thankful.
Boo! Scare ya? I sure hope not, But if so, it’s probably because everyone has become a scaredy-cat wuss lately. Now, I understand that everyone is afraid of something. But that is no reason for the recent evolution of my favorite holiday, Halloween! I hate that Halloween has moved from being a night-of-fright to a day-of-hilarity. It sounds dumb, but it’s true. Doesn’t it seem like everyone wants to be funny on Halloween now? I don’t get it! There is a reason Halloween is Halloween. Don’t you know the history behind it? It is not a day to look silly and make people laugh. That is called April Fools Day! And it’s not necessarily an excuse to look like a whore (though I have no problem with a slutty witch or hunky devil). Dressing like a horny schoolgirl or French maid is for Valentine’s Day (or a lucky night in a man’s love life). Halloween is a day to scare the crap out of people! There is a reason why Hollywood releases every “Saw” horror movie around Halloween annually, and movies starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore come out in the Spring. Even on ListAfterList the funny and sexy costume stuff gets more attention than the scary costume lists. So please, go pick out a pumpkin and carve a scary face, not a silly clown one. And scare the hell out of those teenage trick-or-treaters when they come to your door! But don’t worry, if you feel the same way as I do, just watch this - and show ‘em to your friends too!
Sex sells. It’s a fact! Check this out… Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or Star Jones and Al Reynolds… which one did you click on? Probably Brangelina huh? Point proven. But why are Americans obsessed with sex? In fact, why is the entire world so obsessed? Here’s some street magic for you: Ask people to create a list of their top 5 favorite things in the world, and (if they aren’t shy) I guarantee “sex” makes the list. Take that David Blaine! And the thing is, it doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, a teenager or old fart, or gay or straight. Maybe it has to do with the growing American obsession with weight, diets, health, and fitness? But doesn’t that stem from our society’s obsession over celebrities? Isn’t the sentiment “thin=sexy” drilled into our conscious by global media? Or is it the other way around? Or maybe it’s something else totally? Here are some facts you can’t deny:
- Do you want a flat tummy and washboard abs, or prefer a beer belly? Doubt you say beer belly.
- Which do you wish was your favorite fast food restaurant – Subway or McDonald’s? Probably Subway.
- Have you ever looked at a nude picture or celebrity sex tape online? C’mon, you know you have seen Pamela and Tommy Lee on that boat. Or Paris in the green light. Globally, internet porn is booming billion-dollar industry. It estimated that 100 million people every month visit porn websites, and 30% of them are women.
- Did you ever see Titanic, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars? The sexiest celebrities draw the biggest box office movie-going crowds. Leo sold $1,835,300,000 worth of tickets to Titanic globally. Keira, Depp and Bloom made $2,600,000,000 for dressed as Pirates. Orlando and Viggo raked in $3 billion for The Lord of the Rings trilogy. And Ford, McGregor, Portman, and a golden-bikini created a worldwide Star Wars phenomenon. Hell, Jessica Alba is a valid movie star, and she can’t act at all.
- Did you read this entire newsletter? Do you usually read this entire newsletter?
Face it, most advertisements feature “sexy” models, not chubby couch potatoes. Sex sells, It’s a fact!
It’s mid September. Leaves are changing colors. The weather is getting colder. Another school year has started. And O.J. is finally going to jail (that is kind of like the ultimate make-up call in sports history). But September also brings another football season. And for many men in America, that means couch potato season. And for a lot of women, that means boredom. But it doesn’t have to be that way. So take the advice of one of the greatest characters in movie history, “quid pro quo.” Something for something. A favor for a favor. Give and take. If you just started dating, good luck! No, just kidding, but it will take a little more effort than it will for those couples who have been together long enough to thank the heavens for the plasma screen male babysitter. So while the men are pounding beers and feasting on cheesy poofs, don’t volunteer to be the miserable maid, instead try one of these great ideas.
Yesterday was the six-year anniversary of the tragic events that occurred on September 11th. It was a horrific time in our lives, filled with death and destruction, and remembered as the day that started the “War on Terror.” 9-11 was a horrendous day, one of the worst in American history, and served as a catalyst for some significant effects, both good and bad. Here are just some of those far-reaching consequences (and some less serious ones as well):
- Nearly 3,000 people were killed, including 92 people on board American Airlines Flight 11, and 43 people on United Airlines Flight 93
- It was the worst terrorist attack ever on American soil
- Over 1,036 books have been published about the attacks
- Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9-11 currently holds the record for the highest box office receipts by a general release documentary
- A variety of conspiracy theories have emerged which contradict the mainstream account of the September 11, 2001 attacks
- In 1997, the United States finally reached Mars on September 11th
- Harry Connick Jr., Ludacris, the NFL Baltimore Ravens’ Ed Reed, and Jesus of Nazareth were all born on Sept. 11
- If you have any of these names, you probably can’t fly on a plane because of 9-11
- The FBI put Usama Bin Laden atop the Most Wanted List
- George Bush was re-elected as the President of the United States
It was possibly the most consequential event in the history of America. And just like the JFK assassination, Apollo moon landing, Berlin Wall destruction, Challenger Space Shuttle explosion, etc., people will always remember exactly what they were doing at that time. 9/11 will forever remain on the American conscience. And for many people – 20% of Americans who lost friends or family members, the victims and heroes will always be in their hearts.
It’s September and it’s “moving” time. Moving schools, moving homes, moving through lifestyles. Moving from one season to the next. Moving nearer the weekend. Around the world everyone and everything is moving:
- The seasons are moving from the stifling summer towards an appeasing autumn.
- Hurricanes are moving in on American shores.
- Students are moving from one grueling grade to the next.
- Teenagers are moving from their strict parents’ homes to the independence of dorms.
- If you are a twenty-something, chances are you are moving from one 12-month leased apartment to another.
- Football finally moves from the pointless preseason to the regular season on Thursday.
- The University of Michigan, FloridaState and Notre Dame are moving out of the Top 25 Polls.
- Television networks are moving from summer programming back into the regularly-scheduled fall lineup.
- It’s mid-week, so we are moving ever closer to another work-free weekend.
- Monday was Labor Day, so you have to move all your white shorts and skirts back to attic for another bland winter.
- The United States economy is moving the wrong way.
- Michael Vick is preparing to move out of his massive mansion to a pocket-sized prison.
- Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are moving towards motherhood.
- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are going to need to move to a bigger home, stating their desire to adopt more children.
- Owen Wilson has moved from a cute, funny, and happy to a crazy, depressed, and suicidal.
- Britney Spears is moving on the Billboard Charts again (and moving back into the courtroom).
Everyone and everything is moving. This is just another example that serves as proof that lists are all around you. So take a look around you, and keep creating those great lists on ListAfterList.com
Let’s play the word association game! No. 2 pencils… book bags… lunchbox… recess… pop quiz. Yep, it is that time of the year again. The first day of school has crept up on summer like a bully from the back of the bus. And whether you are jumping on your first yellow bus, attending a new school, or driving to night classes after work, the first day of class can always be a little unnerving. Do you have enough pens? Pencils? Paper? Did you buy the right books? What are you going to wear?Is your teacher going to be cool?Who will you sit next to? But don’t worry, because there are always those cute icebreaker games - that tend to make you more uncomfortable instead of less.
“Hi, my name is Ryan. I am from Canton, Ohio. I am 23 years old and I visited the world’s largest ball of string for the 17th straight year again this summer.”
The crazy thing is – once you are done, you start to miss those annoying little things. All those people were right; school days are honestly the best days of your life. Back then, there was plenty of room for error – now, there is barely room for air. Grade school, childhood, high school and even college is a breeze compared to being an adult. But with the responsibilities of being a working adult, come the freedoms and adventures of life. So whether you are lugging your backpack or shoulder-saddling your briefcase out the door in the morning, remember this: “The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.” So, what do you see in that glass?
Been traveling much this summer? I’ve been moving around so much I feel like a drug-trafficking husband of an untrustworthy stewardess (bad analogy?). And tomorrow, I am actually leaving again, this time heading to Nut Ridge, in the Finger Lakes region of upstate New York. The crazy thing is, I actually found a ton of lists about the area on ListAfterList.com: Notable Residents of Ithaca, NY; Famous Alumni of Cornell University; and Top 10 Best Wine Country Inns just to name a few. Then I realized, it’s not just this area, but everywhere. Hundreds of listers have created thousands of lists - some about small towns, some about big cities, and some about their favorite vacation spots. You can find lists about localfavorites and traveltop 10s.
Maybe you have some entertaining ideas to add to this list of top 10 things to do around the campus of Ohio State? Everyone already knows about the Oval right?
Or maybe you know of another interesting attraction in Wichita, Kansas besides Ty’s Diner?
Do you even know where on earth Chandigarh is located? If so, have you ever been to Sector 17?
From there, dig a hole through the center of the earth and you’ll end up somewhere in between some more familiar places; like Las Vegas, New York City, and the OC.
Or maybe you want you’d just rather fly? Try one of these top 10 international airlines!
Wherever you live, or wherever you end up, create a list about it! If you share what you know and what you’ve learned about your favorite places in the world, you may someday find it flourishing because they heard about it on ListAfterList.com. If nothing else, it’s also a great way to vent about your most despicable places you’ll never visit again.
Do you hate it when people ride the coattails of others? I do! Or should I say, I did. After I started thinking about it, I realized that everyone is always saying life is all about the associations you create with others. So where do you draw the line between mooching and networking?
· Hillary Clinton didn’t sever ties with Bill (despite his ability to have sex without having “sex”).
· George W. Bush didn’t change his last name and burn all his birth certificates.
· Paris Hilton would have nothing if the Hilton Paris was never built.
· Kobe Bryant rode Shaq’s extra-long coattails to three NBA Championships.
· And Ben Affleck held on to Matt Damon’s hand as long as he possibly could.
So, as always, the real question is, how do you feel? Have you gotten where you are today by shoveling your own coal, digging your own ditches, and weeding your own garden? Or did your mom do your homework for you, your dad give you a summer job, joined a fraternity or sorority in college, and now work for your smarter, better-looking best-friend? Hey, I’m not ragging on it, if my best-friend from high school became a successful movie star in Hollywood you better believe I’d be out there swimming in his mansion’s pool and drinking his Bud Light. But just because your last name is Williams, Jones, Miller or Smith doesn’t mean you can the next anchor on NBC’s Nightly News, an adventurous archaeologist in a temple of doom, start your own beer brewing company, or flash your blonde hair and oversized bosoms and get a ring from a rich old oil tycoon.
We are smack in the middle of the dog days of summer. And no, that doesn’t have anything to do with Michael Vick or Joey Chestnut. Instead, it refers to the hottest days of the year, usually starting in July and ending in early September. It is called “dog days” because the ancient Romans thought the heat came from the brightest star in the sky, Sirius (a.k.a. the “dog star”) that rises and sets with the sun during these months. As it turns out, its not hotter due to super radiation from this brilliant star, the heat is actually a result of the earth’s tilt. Anyway, if you’re interested in stargazing and peeping at Sirius, make sure you have a dark place away from the blinding city lights. Traveling to find that perfect place? Might as well pick one with a great prequel. Then if you’re tired from watching meteor showers all night, consider trying some different morning jolt besides that old-fashioned cup of joe. You’re going to need some energy during these final stifling “dog days.” But don’t blink - summer will be over before you know it.
Doesn’t it seem like celebrities are screwing up every day? We all know about Paris Hilton, but that was just the “Celebrity Screw-up Kick-off Event.”
Lindsay Lohan has fallen off the wagon, and then climbed back on only to nosedive off again. Now she’s been arrested for a DUI and cocaine possession.
Britney Spears shaved her head and attacked a paparazzi’s car with an umbrella.
NFL quarterback Michael Vick continues to get in trouble. This time however, it’s unlikely he will avoid the sack.
In the NBA, a referee, Tim Donaghy, has been exposed for working with organized crime to affect the outcome of games.
Before all this drama, there was actress Winona Ryder, who stole more than $5,500 worth of merchandise from Beverly Hills Saks.
The NBA Lakers Kobe Bryant was accused of rape. O.J. Simpson was accused of murder. And three Duke University lacrosse players were also accused of rape.
Because of the attitudes and personalities that celebrities develop, the gross amount of money they make, and the viral interest in their lives, these poor decisions are never going to stop. So the real question is, who is next?
How was your Fourth of July? There was an incredible Independence Day fireworks display in Columbus, Ohio called “Red, White and Boom.” But I am sure there are plenty of booming events around the country. After all, it is the celebration of this great nation’s birthday.
What better way to celebrate than with ice cold beer in the cooler and hot dogs off the grill. Guarantee you can’t eat 66 dogs in 12 minutes like Joey Chestnut (if so, you just missed out on a $20,000 prize and the coveted Yellow Mustard Belt). But those Nathan’s Hot Dogs are plain and boring anyway - try an Ultimate Hot Dog instead!
Or maybe you prefer the movie theater’s overpriced $4.50 hot dog. Although, the entertainment value of “Transformers” and “Die Hard” are more than worth the price of admission plus a few overpriced hot dogs. And I am sure “Harry Potter” will be too. By the way, did you know you could take beers into these movie theaters? There are probably tons more around the nation.
Do you believe Federer won another Wimbledon championship? Andy Roddick may never get another chance - but at least he can impersonate the winners. And how about the American Venus Williams winning on the women’s side? You are going to have to find a new source for your sporting news (…hint, hint, www.ListAfterList.com...) now that Dan Patrick is retiring. He has to be one of the top five sportscasters ever.
Speaking of top fives, if you missed the Live Earth concert last weekend (apparently most of the world did), here are the top five performances. It’s really all you needed to see. I am sure you were probably tuned into the Rock, Paper, Scissors Championships anyway.
ListAfterList.com is a site for YOU! (and soon to be a site about YOU – with social networking updates like friends, groups and improved profile pages coming in the near future)
ListAfterList.com is a place to express YOUR opinions, memories and expertise. On any wiki list, all you have to do is click the yellow “Add To This Wiki” button, type in your thoughts, and click the “Add to List” button. Right now, you won’t be able to see who added to a wiki list, but don’t worry, that is also coming in the next phase of our site.
For instance, what is your opinion on cigarettes? The latest statistics revealed that nearly 1 in 4 people in the United States smoke cigarettes, so odds are some of you have a favorite cigarette that isn’t on this list?
Or maybe you prefer being creatively imaginative? Well pretend you are the nation’s most empowered sheriff... who would you throw in jail? (besides Paris Hilton)
I know you all have memories. And I am sure you were all alive in 2001, so where were you when you heard about the terrorist attacks on the world trade center? Or if you are an old fart, where were you when JFK was shot?
I realize you’re not all doctors, but if you are, and you have a funny story, add it to this list of hilarious stories from real doctors. Or share your expert knowledge on cancer.
Summer is finally here! (Well almost, Thursday is the official summer solstice) But man-oh-man is it hot as hell out there. I spent all winter praying for warmer weather, then all spring waiting for the pools to open, and now I am already looking forward to fall. Guess that is just human nature though.
So instead of waiting for the future, let us try and live in the present. (My apologies for the corny cliché)
First things first, how do you stay cool in this unbearable heat? If you have an air conditioner - try this… if it blows something other than cold air or you don’t have one - try this.
By the way, if you don’t have AC, here is an easy step-by-step list of how to build your own MacGyver-style air conditioner.
If that seems like too much work in the sweltering temperatures, dive in a pool. Sick of doggy-paddling and floating on rafts? Play one of these great games. Or take a trip to one of these incredible pools.
Don’t ever forget what Mom said, “No swimming for 30 minutes after you eat!” And the odds are if you are eating, it’ll be something off the grill. So make sure you have all the essentials - and don’t forget to clean it when you’re done, the food is already dirty enough!
Don’t worry! This newsletter will not just jump to a black screen at the end. You won’t think your internet connection went out like you did your TV Sunday night. There will be some sort of conclusion. Promise.
Don’t get me wrong, I respect David Chase’s decision to end the Sopranos like he did. Personally, I even liked his creative choice. But much of the nation didn’t. And their voices have been heard. So what do you think happened at the end of the show? My favorite idea so far is that Tony got whacked just like he said it would, you never see it coming and then it all just goes black. (But maybe you can change my mind)
And incase you need to go back and watch some previous episodes, take this Mobster Dictionary with you!
In any case, James Gandolfini can get out and play some more golf now. And don’t forget the U.S. Open starts Thursday – think Tiger is the best? Think again!
Or maybe Gandolfini prefers the other country club sport, tennis. Speaking of which, did you see Nadal and Henin-Hardenne win their 3rd consecutive titles at the French Open last weekend?
Tony Soprano may or may not have been like your dad. And maybe you wish he was? But don’t forget about your real dad this Father’s Day! I’m sure he’d like these high tech toys.
Then, if you can’t live without the Sopranos buy yourself the DVDs. Or check out what Gandolfini is planning to do next.
Paris Hilton is officially a resident of the L.A.County jail. She arrived for booking early, following a surprise visit at the MTV movie awards Sunday night. Forget “The Simple Life” – can’t FOX get a TV camera in that jail cell somehow? Guarantee you would be glued to that reality show.
Speaking of blonde-haired mops that soak up the red carpet, did you see the list of things in Anna Nicole’s stomach?
And speaking of jail, have you noticed less spam in your email? The feds arrested one of the world’s top spammers the other day.
Oh, I almost forgot, speaking of women with red carpets – how about Lindsay Lohan? Crazy!
Have you ever experienced a red-headed slut?
ListAfterList.com is really about YOU! We want to be a Web site where YOU can find and create lists about anything and everything YOU are (or are not) looking for. So I wanted to recognize a couple of listers who are really standing out from the LAL community.
Shonna73 a home-schooling mother from Illinois. She likes cold cereal for dinner.
Another lister named Summernight is a novelist and playwright. He started this list of famous lovers in history.
Then I started thinking… What are YOUR opinions on some overrated topics?
Besides Tom Cruise and Keanu Reeves, who is an overrated actor in your mind?
What about actresses?
Those stars have probably acted in at least one overrated movie.
The Preakness was last weekend. Does that make your list of overrated sporting events?
What are some other overrated games besides sudoku and chess?
What is more overrated to you? Life-long monogamy or being single? Or maybe it’s the phrase: “Hang in there.”?
And everyone has to agree that sex, money and Microsoft are all overrated when you put it into perspective.
That is it for now! Have a good week everyone!
I was sitting here thinking about the Web today – imagine that – and realized I had no idea how many domain endings existed. Dot.com, dot.net, dot.edu, dot.org, dot.museum… So I decided to surf the net.
On a dot.com we got some good publicity this week. If you didn’t already see it, check it out!
On a dot.net I saw Dirk Nowitzki actually won the NBA MVP (which he totally didn’t deserve).
Then on a dot.org I saw Jerry Falwell passed away (what a crazy-interesting life).
A dot.edu reminded me about my doctor’s excuse for school. I hate allergy season.
In between sneezing and rubbing my eyes in class I got on my Treo and found this at a dot.mobi about how bad Spiderman 3 really was. Pretty funny.
I had no idea so many domain endings existed!
What a weekend!
For me, it all started Thursday night, standing in line outside the local theater with the rest of the world waiting for the midnight showing of Spiderman 3. Think Spiderman 4 will top 3?
I didn’t get home till 3 a.m., so Starbucks pumped through my veins all day Friday - woops!
Saturday, I tried a new drink, the “Cinco de Mayo”. Then Street Sense took the first step towards becoming the next Triple Crown winner. Later that night, Floyd Mayweather proved why he is considered the “best pound-for-pound boxer” today.
Sunday, I was in couch-recovery mode.
Now, what-a-weekend has turned into a bad case of the Mondays. Maybe Will Ferrell can cheer me up?
If not, Mom always can!
Oh and… I know the home page changes as often as Britney Spears’ boyfriends – but this one is our K-Fed, it should stick around for a little while.
I love this weather! Don’t you wish you still had summers off? I sure do! But don’t worry, you can still be happy at work.
And when you do get a chance to enjoy the weather, try grilling out with this new all-American burger recipe.
With the warm weather, comes Memorial Day (be glad your not a silly Brit) -- and with Memorial Day comes pool openings! Better find the perfect swimsuit just for you.
By the way, I bet these women look sexy in a swimsuit.
But maybe you are staying inside to watch the NBA playoffs? If so, quiz your friends with this NBA trivia: NBA Team Names that Don't End in "S"
Wonder who will be the biggest bust in the NFL Draft this year?
It’s Spring out there, but as fate would have it I’m in here thinking about cashtration, intaxication and reintarnation. If only I had $50 burning a hole in my pants, I might be enjoying asteamin’ mug o’ cat poop coffee.
We’ve got a busy week ahead, what with super-hyped movie debuts and long-awaited TV series’ season premieres. And the entire PGA Tour will attempt to keep Tiger Woods from winning another major. (Hey Masters, if you want more viewers try letting ‘em get dirty.)
And don’t forget to find out who might be hopped up this Easter Sunday, or who some consider just an ass to be around.
As for me, I might just try faking it this weekend.
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