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No Joke! The Best ACTUAL Newspaper Headlines
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Tags: Newspaper headlines, news, current events, newspaper, headlines, police, war, cold wave, murder, mystery, true, crime

TrailerGuyBob here, with a list of newspaper articles.. Just don't have the newspaper names.. Would be great if anyone out there knows them and could add them. Format now is the headline followed by ***** and then some comments, some editorial comments, obviously not made by the newspaper.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says *** No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers ****** No more tickets!

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? ***** I am checking, hang on !

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over ******* What a guy, he always wanted to do a panda.!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death ****** No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos, And it only goes to show there may be work after death..

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant ***** See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace ****** I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile ****** I’d bet on that!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures ***** Sort of like Global Warming.

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide ***** Hmmmm They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges ***** You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge ****** He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group **** Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft **** That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks **** Taste like chicken I suppose?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half **** Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Boy, are they tall!

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead **** Did I read that right?

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Source: TrailerGuyBob

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I love when they do this on Jay Leno on Tuesday nights... funny stuff
Comment by: Pratt

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<a href="http://www.listafterlist.com/ListResults/tabid/57/listid/7191/Default.aspx">No Joke! The Best ACTUAL Newspaper Headlines</a></span>
<br>by:<a href="http://www.listafterlist.com/tabid/75/Default.aspx?un=TrailerGuyBob">  TrailerGuyBob</a><br>
<span class="normal"><ul>
<li>Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says   ***  No, really?</li><li>Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers ******  No more tickets!</li><li>Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?  *****  I am checking, hang on !</li><li>Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over  ******* What a guy, he always wanted to do a panda.!</li><li>Miners Refuse to Work after Death  ******  No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos, And it only goes to show there may be work after death..</li>
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