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New Years Resolutions We Can Keep  
ENTERTAINING 

Tags: resolutions, new years, holiday, weight loss, December 31, first, year, promises, funny, amusing

The "experts", who ever the experts are, recommend that when making New Years Resolutions one should make resolutions they can keep. You know like Watch Less TV. I have never really taken the experts advice in the past but this year I thought I might start a list of resolutions that one could keep, pretty easily, thus improving their self esteem. This is just a starter list, add your own, I need some ideas.

1.	Gain 30 pounds.. This would be much easier and more fun than losing 10.
2.	Insist on taking everything personally. The world revolves around me doesn't it?
3.	Lust in your mind, daily
4.	Always, No not always, Never, yeah never, no not never.. Sometimes okay Occassionally be courteous
5.	Avoid shooting a nail gun up your nose
6.	Put things off, in other words procrastinate more.. Begin sometime next year if possible
7.	Eat,sleep,breath, and void yourself of waste and gases when necessary or fun
8.	Listen to your friends, then ignore their advice
9.	Create more than your fair share of carbon monoxide
10.	Laugh at innapropriate times
11.	After a couple of drinks go ahead and tell that raunchy joke to mixed company, then regret it the next day
12.	Carpe Pizza - Seize the Pizza Take first and last piece of every pizza all year
13.	Not pick up your dog's poop.
14.	Eat McDonalds 3 times a week.

Lister: ListAfterList Wiki Contributors
Source: Started By Jokeman

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