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Charlie Harper Quotes: "A clueless woman is a happy woman."
AMUSING 
Tags: Two, Half Men, Charlie Harper, Charlie Sheen, quotes, said, funny, amusing, LOL, Two and a Half Men, CBS, TV, show, comedy
Charlie Harper is the character from the CBS TV sitcom, "Two and a Half Men," played by Charlie Sheen. Here are some of his most memorable quotes:
| | [Alan is supposed to have a colonoscopy, and is very worried about it] Count your blessings; in the old days, they had to send a sketch-artist up there. |
| | [making a deal with Alan while standing at a urinal] Want to shake on it? |
| | A clueless woman is a happy woman. |
| | Bought some hamburgers, Bought the hats; ate the hamburgers, wearing the hats. |
| | Drugs! Get me drugs! |
| | Fine, mask it! Give it a cape and let it fight crime, I don't give a damn! |
| | He chewed her up and spit her out. |
| | Hey, I get enough of that crap from my mother. |
| | How did you get in my house? |
| | I didn't name her that. I just spread it around. Hey, be sure to keep her off the rug. |
| | I have my moments, but they're getting farther apart. |
| | I just had lunch with my mother and my stalker... We spent the afternoon eating off each other's plates and discussing my fear of intimacy. |
| | I remember your high school friend Jamie Eckleberry. We used to call her Eckleberry Hound. |
| | In people or dog years? Look, I'll be nice. I'll say hello... then scratch behind her ears. |
| | I'll admit you're kookie Judith. But compared to our mother you're like a fart in a hurricane. |
| | People who live in fat asses shouldn't throw waffles. |
| | Secret elixir, huh? Well, I'm usually more of a bourbon guy but when push comes to shove I don't know what the hell's in that either. |
| | The kid plays, and I have a date. Everybody wins. |
| | Well it doesn't matter if you win or lose; it's whether or not you beat the spread. |
| | Why don't you make like a hockey player, and get the puck out of here. |
| | Yeah, but who you are, couldn't get laid under water, with a tank full of oxygen. |
| | You know, it wouldn't kill you to talk to Mom once in a while. |
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