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Charlie Harper Quotes: "A clueless woman is a happy woman."  
AMUSING 

Tags: Two, Half Men, Charlie Harper, Charlie Sheen, quotes, said, funny, amusing, LOL, Two and a Half Men, CBS, TV, show, comedy

Charlie Harper is the character from the CBS TV sitcom, "Two and a Half Men," played by Charlie Sheen. Here are some of his most memorable quotes:

	[Alan is supposed to have a colonoscopy, and is very worried about it] Count your blessings; in the old days, they had to send a sketch-artist up there.
	[making a deal with Alan while standing at a urinal] Want to shake on it?
	A clueless woman is a happy woman.
	Bought some hamburgers, Bought the hats; ate the hamburgers, wearing the hats.
	Drugs! Get me drugs!
	Fine, mask it! Give it a cape and let it fight crime, I don't give a damn!
	He chewed her up and spit her out.
	Hey, I get enough of that crap from my mother.
	How did you get in my house?
	I didn't name her that. I just spread it around. Hey, be sure to keep her off the rug.
	I have my moments, but they're getting farther apart.
	I just had lunch with my mother and my stalker... We spent the afternoon eating off each other's plates and discussing my fear of intimacy.
	I remember your high school friend Jamie Eckleberry. We used to call her Eckleberry Hound.
	In people or dog years? Look, I'll be nice. I'll say hello... then scratch behind her ears.
	I'll admit you're kookie Judith. But compared to our mother you're like a fart in a hurricane.
	People who live in fat asses shouldn't throw waffles.
	Secret elixir, huh? Well, I'm usually more of a bourbon guy but when push comes to shove I don't know what the hell's in that either.
	The kid plays, and I have a date. Everybody wins.
	Well it doesn't matter if you win or lose; it's whether or not you beat the spread.
	Why don't you make like a hockey player, and get the puck out of here.
	Yeah, but who you are, couldn't get laid under water, with a tank full of oxygen.
	You know, it wouldn't kill you to talk to Mom once in a while.

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