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Top Ten ways to lose weight without dieting...
ENTERTAINING 
Tags: weight loss, good health, self-help
We all know it is difficult losing weight and that is mostly because of the whole diet thing. But when we remove that little hindrance the puzzle seems to just fall into place:
| 1. | Keep your head shaved eliminating not only the hair weight but the chemical buildup resulting from most hair products. |
| 2. | Wear light and airy fabrics thus letting your sweat evaporate faster and preventing water-log. |
| 3. | Practice levitation, well, duh, that really needs no explanation you just weigh nothing. |
| 4. | Remove the gravity from your home, sometimes this gets pricey but it is much preferable to diet cola. |
| 5. | Pay the nursing assistant to alter the scales at your doctor’s office, if it’s in your medical record it is so. |
| 6. | Hold your breath often throughout the day, causing you to rise (this also adds a darkened look to your skin making your coworkers think you’ve just been to the beach) |
| 7. | Never carry coinage in your pockets or elsewhere on your person. (You will be honest when you tell the homeless person begging in front of your office that you have no change, see what a nice person you are becoming with your weight-loss goal well on its way?) |
| 8. | Refrain from using soaps, lotions, deodorants, perfumes etc. on your skin to avoid the same buildup you eliminated with the Kojak ‘do. |
| 9. | Opt to go barefoot as often as possible. This is especially helpful when running errands and such, (people don’t realize how efficient the spider monkey is incorporating the use of both hands and feet.) |
| 10. | Stop partaking of liquids completely. You will experience some mild dizziness and a few other side effects but the ounces that are not accumulated in your bladder will really add up to a skinny new you. |
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