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The 10 Best Bad Metal Songs Known To Man  
BESTS 

Tags: top ten, best bad, awesomely bad, metal, heavy metal, songs, metal songs

This is a list of the top 10 best bad metal songs known to man. These are songs that are pretty much terrible. Either the music is bad, the lyrics are bad (or nonsensical), the band had their heads in their butts, or something, that just went utterly wrong... but somehow... for some reason... the song is still good.

1.	KISS – Forever: Oh KISS... where do I even begin? I can't decide what the worst part of this song is. Is it seeing Paul Stanley playing an acoustic guitar? Is it seeing Gene Simmons sitting DOWN to play a song? Is it the lack of make-up? Or is it the fact that the song was co-written by Michael effing Bolton? Everything about this song is just... wrong... on so many levels. And yet, if Whitesnake and Cinderella had paid more attention to this song, maybe they would have written better ballads. There's no reason to explain why this is the best bad metal song ever. Just listen to it.
2.	Europe – Final Countdown: Oh man...just... where do you start with this song? It's so... dumb. All that you can really make out is that there's a countdown, but nobody knows what it is, and the band isn't too keen on telling us. I think maybe they're counting down the last seconds on their fifteen minutes of fame. But that stupid keyboard riff is amazing. And the song itself is definitely one of the best worst metal songs of all time.
3.	Poison – Unskinny Bop: There are no words for the atrocity that is the lyrics to this song. Brett, I noticed you're on TV now with that show where you have sex with a bunch of skanky chicks way past their prime... so... maybe next season you can tell us what this song is about? Please?
4.	Winger – Seventeen: Oh Winger... this song was bad enough before you added cradle-robbing. This sounds like something Bon Jovi would sing... and yet,.. who doesn't like it?
5.	Whitesnake – Here I Go Again: Okay, so, remember how I wrote that Nobody's Fool might be the worst "ballad" ever written? This is one of it's primary challenges. And the video can't even help it. I watched it and kept going, which one of these guys is the dude, and which is the chick. But then I figured it out. One of them spent three hours in the salon getting their hair done... and the other's a chick. But... again... listen to it and not have that chorus stuck in your head. I dare you.
6.	Scorpions – Wind of Change: Hey... remember when the Scorpions threatened to rock us like a hurricane? If this is what they meant... I think somebody needs to give them a dictionary. And what is up with all these atmospheric metaphors? There are three other elements, Scorpions.
7.	Cinderella – Nobody’s Fool: Good lord... this might be one of the worst "ballads" ever written by a longshot. But... I DARE you to listen to this song without singing the chorus.
8.	Van Halen – Without You: Is just a colossal pile of crap. And yet, as soon as the guitar starts whining you can feel your face start to melt. It just goes to show that a good guitar can cover up just about anything.
9.	Warrant – Cherry Pie: I've heard a lot of euphemisms... I mean... a LOT... but none of them are quite as horrible and corny as the ones in Warrant's "Cherry Pie." If the title wasn't bad enough it also features the lyrics "I made the batter and she licked the bearter." Thanks Warrant... for nothing.
10.	Iron Maiden – The Trooper: To be honest, this song only makes the list because of the chorus. It's almost like they wrote the song, and got to the studio and went, 'oh crap, we don't have a chorus.' and Bruce Dickinson wailed with dismay... and they decided to use that. For the record? Bad call.

Lister: NeveHimself

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