| | I’m a virgin. I always have been. |
| | Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it? |
| | I hope you have a big trunk, cause I'm gonna put my bike in it. |
| | Me so horny. Me love you long time. |
| | I may not have sex but I'll Fuck you up!...Y-yeah! |
| | And now I am going to make your silver pants blue. |
| | You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much I completely stay away from them! |
| | AHHHNOOOO NIPPLEFUCK! |
| | You know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but he rocking the shit in this one! |
| | Yeah, she's adorable...fuckin' bitch. |
| | I just want to get drunk, *fucked up*, and play some cards! |
| | If I have to hear "Yamo Be There" one more time, I'm going to "Yamo" burn this place to the ground. |
| | No... uncool? Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn Andy! |
| | My Uncle Used to Drive a Hoe Runner. |
| | Know why you're gay? Because you like Asia. |
| | I love your sweater. Does it come in a V-neck? |
| | You look like a man-o-lantern. |
| | He's a really nice guy and all but I'm pretty sure that he is a serial murderer. |
| | You've gotta wait ’till the seed grows into a plant. Then you fuck the plant. |
| | I'll tell you who's the hottest. Now you're gonna think I'm crazy when I tell you this; Gina. I can't get Gina outta' my head. I'm gonna be thinking of Gina all week. |
| | I hired a 90-Ib girl to work in the stock room at Smart Tech for you, okay? I should've hired a 300-Ib to lift the 60-inch flat screen, but instead I hired a hot girl who can't lift a fucking iPod to bring you out of your funk. |
| | I touched a guy's balls once at Hebrew School. |
| | All you gotta do is to use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows how to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's code written in their DNA, says "Tackle the gazelle." Believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says "Tackle drunk bitches." |
| | You're puttin' the pussy on the pedastal. |
| | For now on, your dick is my dick. I'm gonna get you laid. |
| | Dude, it's not big deal if you like to fuck guys. I'm cool, I got friends who like to fuck guys...in jail. |
| | Whoa! Fuck that nigga up! Bitch, get out of the room! BITCH, GET OUT OF THE ROOM! |
| | Why are you always telling me to go fuck a goat, man? |
| | Rich man gets off work, then buys stereo. Not after fucking brunch! |
| | He's performing a public colonscopy. Isn't that sweet? |
| | Dude, teach me! |
| | The fucker came out of nowhere! |
| | Do you know how I know you're gay? Because you are holding each other ever so gently. |
| | How come we never get invited to parties? What are we, fucking Al Qaeda? |
| | Go fuck a goat. |
| | Everybody's dick look big on 60-inch TV, my sister's dick look big on TV. |
| | That boy need to get - laid! |
| | Get the fuck out of the road virgin! |
| | Today's forecast? Dark and cloudy, and chance of drive-by |