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How to Get to Know Your Boyfriend Better  
HOW TO 

Tags: Boyfriend, Dating Communication, Dating, Relationships

Getting to know someone can be difficult at first. Neither of you want to get hurt by revealing to much but you want to break down those walls also. Keep in mind that this is a low process and you to will be fine.

1.	Start slowly. The early part of a relationship is a time to build trust and learn more about each other, and what you discover in this period will help you figure out whether he’s the guy of your dreams or a nightmare you’d like to wake up from as soon as possible. Problem is, your new boyfriend is probably a little uncomfortable around you at first, and you may still be a little uncomfortable around him, too. Break the ice by sticking to easy subjects: school, the weather, sports, etc.
2.	Ask questions in a logical progression. Once you get your boyfriend talking about comfortable subjects, learn more by asking him questions that logically follow from his answers. For example, if you’ve asked him what his favorite baseball team is and he answers “the Yankees,” ask him who is favorite player is, if he’s ever been to a professional baseball game, or if he’s ever been to New York. If, however, you immediately switch to asking him about his math class, he’ll not only be a little confused by the sudden change, he also might think you don’t really care about his answers.
3.	Follow up on his answers by sharing information about yourself. Your boyfriend should want to get to know you as much as you want to get to know him. Instead of bombarding him with a constant flow of questions, take time to respond to the things he says. Make sure you’re actually responding to what he says, however, and not just changing the subject. A good conversation only happens if both people are listening to each other and building upon what was previously said.
4.	Be a good listener. You won’t be able to build upon his answers to your questions if you’re too busy thinking about the next question you’re going to ask or the crazy experience you just can’t wait to tell him about. If you show genuine interest in his answers, he’ll feel more excited about answering your questions. After asking him the question, let him completely answer it; don't cut him off or throw in another question.
5.	Avoid questions with “yes or no” answers. A lot of guys aren’t naturally very chatty and will often give you the shortest possible answer to a question. Ask open-ended questions that require at least a few words to answer. Lawyers and debaters like to pin their opponents into answering only “yes” or “no,” but you’re (usually) trying to get to know your boyfriend, not cross-examine him.
6.	Respect his privacy. Don’t rush into anything too touchy. You can ask whatever comes to mind, but if he doesn't want to talk about it, give him some time. Maybe he'll tell you on his own at a later in your conversation or on another day. Don't pressure him, but be as open with him as possible. If you want to know something, don't be shy.
7.	Wait for the right time to ask questions. In general, you can ask “small talk” questions anytime you’re together (although he probably won’t appreciate it if you interrupt him when he’s involved in a conversation with his friends). More difficult questions, however, require good timing. If you want to ask him about an old girlfriend, an uncomfortable experience with his family, how he “really” feels about you, or anything else that might be potentially explosive or hurtful, it’s best to wait until you’re alone and he’s not in a hurry or upset.
8.	Appreciate silence once in awhile. Talking is important, but you don’t have to talk all the time. Not all silences are uncomfortable; some can be enjoyable.

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