| | Don't thank me. if you're my boss and appreciate something I've done, that's cool. Otherwise, bag it. I hate being thanked, particularly with a "thx." And don't copy me when you thank somone else, either, unless they saved a little girl form a well or something. I'm busy dealing with the other 150 e-mails I got today. |
| | Don't involve me in a CC circle jerk. Some people think out loud on issues of moderate import for 300 e-mails. And I'm in on all of them, because some doofus copied me on e-mail number one. E-mail should be used to inform, to resolve an issue, to end a conversation, to pass along a job, or to get out of something minor, without the need for personal interaction. But don't use a toothpick to dig a hole. |
| | In fact, don't copy me on something that's just going to annoy me. If something is going wrong and you need to unload, be a man: Call me. Otherwise, you're using the electronic bypass to avoid my 18-wheeler as we trundle down the information superhighway. |
| | But don't forget to copy me if I should know about it. That's right. I'm inconsistent. Figure it out. Knowing when to get people involved and when to leave them out is a basic management skill. |
| | Don't make me think about anything for more than 15 seconds. Send me 12 long single-spaced paragraphs and I'll send you the bill for a bump up on my bifocal prescription. |
| | Don't expect a response to every e-mail. I don't expect you to answer me all the time, either. I put the letters NRN - no reply necessary - at the end of most of my e-mails. It cuts down on the "Thx" and "Will do" and "No Problem" replies from people who think I want them. |
| | E-mail is perhaps the least congenial forum for anything funny, dire, or personal. Unless you're an Oscar-winning screenwriter, play it straight. No sarcasm. No emotions. Anything really worth saying should be said on the phone. Or in person. |
| | If there's an article with my name in it or a picture of my dog humping a fire hydrant, send it along. But sucking up with pointless "thought you might like this" e-mails is crying wolf: next time you send one that really matters, I'll be that much more likely to ignore it. |
| | Go easy on the CC field, especially when you're venting or playing politics. The jokers you copy won't always read to the bottom of the e-mail chain, and if a circle jerk gets started you could be looking for a new job. |
| | No dirty pictures. Except, you know, really good ones. Even then, make them safe for work. Hot women spotted on a business trip? Okay. Jpegs from sluttynurses.com? Not okay. |
| | Unless you're indispensable, don't get too personal. Sure, the EVP of Human Resources is e-mailing his wine broker 20 times a day, but selective nforcement of laws is what totalitarian states are all about. |
| | Business language is English. Weird gizmotic lingos is for Myspace or AIM. We're at the office, man. Write like a smarte person, not a vowel-challenged moron. |
| | Don't be too boring, though. With close business associates, you may toss in a random "Dude," even. People like to be called dude, especially stone square pegs in Accounting and Finance. It makes them feel like hipsters. |
| | Don't become a zombie. It is now possible to conduct virtually your entire career like a boneless homunculus, basking in the glow of a computer scree. But come on. It's nice outside. Give it a try. Oh yeah, and... |
| | Leave your BlackBerry at home when you go to the beach. And turn it off at night, too. You have other hardware that needs attention after hours, don't you, Dude? |