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Top Ten Reasons To Hate Mother's Day  
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Tags: may, mother's day, mother, mom, may 13, holiday

Just to throw out a contrasting opinion, Mother's Day sucks. Defend yourself! Or, succumb to the truth that is evidenced by the following list. Can anyone think of anymore?

1.	Cynics are made, not born, thus rendering the holiday meaningless.
2.	Chrismahanakwanzaka is not only cleverly titled, but also much more efficient. Hitting three birds with one stone? Good. Hitting your mother with a stone? Still good, but not as politically correct.
3.	Lifetime movies are much better about women who get revenge on their ex-husbands, not family values.
4.	The obligatory gift options (#1 Mom mugs, t-shirts, Precious Moments commemorative wall plates etc etc) are all awful, yet it's better than a pack of cigarettes and some pork rinds, which is what she's really into.
5.	She likes your brother/sister better!
6.	You're not allowed to get falling down drunk and make out with strangers at midnight, as with New Years Eve. There are, of course, exceptions.
7.	Everyone is using their phone on Mother's Day, increasing the ratio of visible yuppies an exponential amount.
8.	She turned your room into one of the following: Exercise Room That Never Gets Used, Spare Bedroom, or Room Now Stuffed With Odd Collections Of Items Such As Broken Air Conditioners, Old Recliners and Miscellaneous Boxes, All Of Now Inexplicably Smells of Mothballs.
9.	When you buy her a present, she deliberately lets you know that she hates it under a thin guise of joy ("Precious Moments Book Ends? That's.... inventive.")
10.	She makes you feel incredibly guilty for not liking Mother's Day more.

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