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No Joke! The Best ACTUAL Newspaper Headlines
AMUSING 
Tags: Newspaper headlines, news, current events, newspaper, headlines, police, war, cold wave, murder, mystery, true, crime
TrailerGuyBob here, with a list of newspaper articles.. Just don't have the newspaper names.. Would be great if anyone out there knows them and could add them. Format now is the headline followed by ***** and then some comments, some editorial comments, obviously not made by the newspaper.
| | Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says *** No, really? |
| | Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers ****** No more tickets! |
| | Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? ***** I am checking, hang on ! |
| | Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over ******* What a guy, he always wanted to do a panda.! |
| | Miners Refuse to Work after Death ****** No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos, And it only goes to show there may be work after death.. |
| | Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant ***** See if that works any better than a fair trial! |
| | War Dims Hope for Peace ****** I can see where it might have that effect! |
| | If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile ****** I’d bet on that! |
| | Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures ***** Sort of like Global Warming. |
| | Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide ***** Hmmmm They may be on to something! |
| | Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges ***** You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? |
| | Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge ****** He probably IS the battery charge! |
| | New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group **** Weren't they fat enough?! |
| | Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft **** That's what he gets for eating those beans! |
| | Kids Make Nutritious Snacks **** Taste like chicken I suppose? |
| | Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half **** Chainsaw Massacre all over again! |
| | Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Boy, are they tall! |
| | Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead **** Did I read that right? |
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Source:
TrailerGuyBob
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I love when they do this on Jay Leno on Tuesday nights... funny stuff
Comment by: Pratt
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