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"...I had wet my pants." Jack Handey Fuzzy Memories  
FUNNY 

Tags: jack handey, deep thoughts, fuzzy memories, snl, saturday night live, funny, quotes, hilarious

You might remember Jack Handey as the guy behind Deep Thoughts and Fuzzy Memories on SNL. Here are some of the best Fuzzy Memories. Which is your favorite?

	When you're ten years old, and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again.
	Of all my imaginary friends, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill.
	The day I met Marta was the happiest day of my life, because that was the day I screwed a friend of mine out of a bunch of money.
	I think the most beautiful sunset I ever saw was on page 4 and 5 of The Book of Sunsets.
	If I could go back and change one thing in my life, I think it would be that time I found that one-dollar bill on the sidewalk. I would change it to a million-dollar bill.
	When I looked up at the scoreboard, there were fifteen seconds left. It seemed like plenty of time, but it wasn't. Before I could get to the restroom, I had wet my pants.
	I'm not sure it's good to think back to my childhood memories, because I end up feeling happy and sad at the same time, and that gives me a weird "neutral" feeling.

Lister: ListAfterList Wiki Contributors
Source: Sarah's Wonderful World of Fun

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