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Tags: music, cover, remake, album, rock, classic, soul, anger, money, britney spears, madonna, jessica simpson, avril lavigne, bob dylan

Thank God the music on the radio isn't indicative of what our generation actually LIKES. Otherwise, we'd be in big trouble with these famously bad revamps of old classics. Which one do you think is the worst? And which cringe-worthy covers did I leave off?

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  • Madonna "American Pie" (originally by Don McLean): When I think of "embarassingly bad covers", this is the first thing that comes to mind. Madonna basically sang karaoke to this american classic, and in the process, made us all wince. What the hell does Madonna know about pink carnations or pick-up trucks?Her attempt to gain cred backfired! This is one slice of Americana that just shouldn't be touched, especially by Madonna's money-grubbing hands.
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  • Britney Spears "I Love Rock 'N Roll" (originally by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts): I honestly can't think of a worse person to cover this song. This is the equivalent of getting Hannah Montana to cover a Marilyn Manson diddy. She obviously... doesn't get it.
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  • Avril Lavigne "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" (originally by BOB DYLAN): The cocktail of Avril's forced, snobby, suburban-angst squawking paired with the cunning beauty of Dylan's lyrics is enough to make me puke, and keep me hungover until I can forget it happened. This goes deeper than a bad cover by a dumb girl trying to capitalize off of someone else's genius... there's something infuriating about this one. It's like ordering the filet mignon and having a half-eaten Slider from White Castle chucked at your face.
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  • Jessica Simpson "Take My Breath Away" (originally by Berlin): This song isn't exactly a classic... more of a guilty pleasure that everyone collectively has. Jessica quickly subtracted the 'pleasure' part of that equation with her blaring vocal chords and squeaky transitions from one octave to the next. Learn some vocal control... not everything has to be 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'. This cover was definitely one of the hardest on the ears in recent memory.
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  • Michael Bolton "Dock of the Bay" (originally by Otis Redding): This timeless gem was recently ripped to shreds in an offensively bad, thankfully ignored cover. Michael Bolton, who gained recognition by being mistaken for Yanni and boning that broad from "Desperate Housewives", warbles his way through this one without any sense of soul, or rhythm for that matter. The expression 'white bread' comes to mind. Tragic.
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  • Limp Bizkit "Behind Blue Eyes" (originally by The Who): Come on. Of course this made the list. Fred Durst, rock music's media whore of the 90's (Chad Kroeger currently holds the prestigious title), dumbs this one down in traditional Limp Bizkit style. Lots of yelling. Almost talking. He erases the quiet desperation of the lyrics in exchange for teen angst... sad, considering he was 33.
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  • Smash Mouth "I'm a Believer"(originally by The Monkees): Just when you'd accepted that you liked the original version, despite it's poppy, oh-so-British pizazz, Smash Mouth douses you with a few more buckets of aspartame. It's hard to listen to a washed up 40-year old, who clearly wanted to be a "rockstar" at one point in his life, do drunken karaoke at his daughter's wedding, which is what this reminds me of. It's not that I hate the original, it's that I simply can't think of a reason for it to be covered..... oh wait..... movie franchise. Thanks, "Shrek".

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    Comments:

    For your consideration, the William Shatner (Star Trek, Boston Legal) musical car-wreck cover of the Beatle's classic 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds'. His frenzied, over-dramatic reading of the song's versions was voted "the worst Beatles cover of all-time" by TV's Music Choice viewers. One listen and you will seek a perscription for the psychiatric drug Thorazine.
    Comment by: john

    I recently heard the Michael Bolton rendition of Sitting on the Dock of a Bay when someone played it by accident at the bar where I work. It was horrid!!
    Comment by: kcausey7857



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