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Biggest Morons Ever
FUNNY
Tags: dumb, people, idiot, moron, stupid, person, biggest, worst, top 10, bad
These are some of the biggest idiots I have ever heard of... know any others?
| 1. | AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. | | 2. | Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up." | | 3. | An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, during which the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. | | 4. | A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kiwi Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. | | 5. | Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!" | | 6. | A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!" | | 7. | In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellooooooo)! | | 8. | Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition: The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer! | | 9. | Man in South Africa is hospitalized for a gun wound to the face after he, and a friend practiced shooting beer cans off each others head. | | 10. | Man is arrested at a airport hotel for passing two counterfeit $16 bills. | | 11. | Chico, California city council members enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, with the penalty of $500 for setting it off. | | 12. | In Iowa, a man robbing a service station threatened to call the police if they did not hand over the money. The attendant refused to hand over the money so the burglar called the police and was arrested. | | 13. | A prisioner in Australia, broke out of jail and no one noticed, the next day he tried to break back in and got caught. | | 14. | A man tired of walking stole a steamroller, police pursued him in a 5 mph chase. Finally, the officer boarded the steamroller and arrested him. | | 15. | O.J. Simpson-enough said. | | 16. | Gail Levine-she was the one with the syringe in the diet pepsi hoax. | | 17. | Barry Bonds - enough said | | 18. | In St. Louis, a bus with five passengers, was involved in an auto accident. By the time police arrived there were fourteen passengers complaining about neck injuries. |
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