| 1. | knows where Waldo is |
| 2. | gets 43 m.p.g. |
| 3. | was the 2nd shooter |
| 4. | leaves no man behind |
| 5. | has a half life of 10,000 years |
| 6. | signal power fluctuates depending on the strength of the Yen |
| 7. | routinely breaks the speed of sound |
| 8. | is the only word in the English language that rhymes with "orange" |
| 9. | has a healthy diet of Motorola's and Nokia's |
| 10. | can do 45 reps of 225 lbs. |
| 11. | always drops in behind enemy lines |
| 12. | smokes 3 packs a day |
| 13. | has hit fo the cycle |
| 14. | wears a size 10 shoe |
| 15. | knows every shortcut |
| 16. | has never been tardy for class |
| 17. | always knew the world was round |
| 18. | has perfect vision |
| 19. | always dresses business casual |
| 20. | drinks Busch Light |
| 21. | gets butter on its popcorn |
| 22. | is fluent in 12 languages, including cat |
| 23. | gathers no moss |
| 24. | knows when to hold 'em, knows when to fold 'em |
| 25. | was responsible for the NYC Blackout of '77 |
| 26. | T9 words with one finger |
| 27. | slays dragons |
| 28. | likes its steak medium rare |
| 29. | watches American Gladiators |
| 30. | is broadcast in HD, where available |
| 31. | plays well with others |
| 32. | is the only known cure for Bubonic Plague |
| 33. | always hits both free-throws |
| 34. | doesn't use a condom |
| 35. | has never called-in sick |
| 36. | steals from the rich and gives to the poor |
| 37. | is fire retardant |
| 38. | has a lifetime QB rating of 143.4 |
| 39. | always picks up the tab |
| 40. | bets on Tee-Ball |
| 41. | controls 95% of the world's wealth |
| 42. | takes shit from nobody |
| 43. | pees with the seat down |
| 44. | fixed the 1919 World Series |
| 45. | knows where Hoffa is buried |
| 46. | can drink 40 beers in 17 minutes |
| 47. | jogs 24 minutes for a warmup, and 60 minutes for a cooldown |
| 48. | throws the best parties |
| 49. | was employed by BlackWater |
| 50. | hated Spiderman 3 |
| 51. | volunteers at the soup kitchen |
| 52. | likes its coffee with 2 creams and 1 sugar |
| 53. | eats coal and shits diamonds |
| 54. | has the weight of the world on it's shoulders |
| 55. | always dresses for success |
| 56. | always gets a "Triple Word Score" while playing Scrabble |
| 57. | has it his way |
| 58. | annually runs the Boston Marathon in under 1 hour |
| 59. | never scratches on the 8 ball |
| 60. | can beat you in Checkers in under 1 move |
| 61. | ranked #1 in the Harris Poll |
| 62. | always outflanks the enemy |
| 63. | greets strangers with a firm handshake |
| 64. | never double dips a nacho |
| 65. | is the last number in the Pi sequence |
| 66. | protects this house |
| 67. | always has 2nd's |
| 68. | always takes a direct flight, with an aisle seat |
| 69. | knows 315 ways to kill a racoon |
| 70. | uses a revitalizing shampoo and conditioner |
| 71. | takes the stairs |
| 72. | hates tye-dye |
| 73. | knows who framed Roger Rabbit |
| 74. | is a perfect gentleman |
| 75. | always rides shotgun |
| 76. | never takes a penny, and always leaves a penny |
| 77. | never gets lost |
| 78. | always goes all-in |
| 79. | always bets the over |
| 80. | never 2 putts |
| 81. | can type 94 words per minute |
| 82. | breaks off the winning end of the wishbone |
| 83. | never throws paper or scissors |
| 84. | is ambidextrious |
| 85. | the iPhone never gets arm tackled |